I wish I had known…

…that I was marrying into a family.

Couples who think it will be just the two of them after the wedding is wrong. You marry into each other’s families for better or for worse. Typically the family is most important. So let’s focus on that relationship today.

Five key issues. The first issue the couple will face when dealing with the in-laws is the holidays. You must choose whose family you will be seeing and when. If you all live in the same town then it is more feasible to see both families. However, if they do not, then you will have to decide who gets what on each major holiday such as Christmas or Thanksgiving. Next you will have to keep up with traditions. Traditions are driven by deep emotions and should never ever be taken lightly. Your in-laws will also have expectations. They will expect you to do things that you won’t even think about such as paying for dinner when you all go out. You must accept that your in-laws have behavioral patterns that you may find troublesome such as going home intoxicated. The last thing is the in-laws will have strongly held religious beliefs that differ from yours.

There are three main points to figuring out this relationship between you and the in-laws.

Learning to listen. People have different views, ideas, and emotions. Learning to listen and actually hear what they are saying will e a step to understanding them.

Learning to negotiate. Negotiation is enhanced when you make requests and not demands. It is an agreement all parties can agree on.

Learning their love language. Learn their love language and act on it all the time.

Ultimately, it takes time and effort to build a positive and healthy relationship with the in-laws.

My fiance and I will switch off on holidays. If the family plans something that we want to go to in between that time then we go to it. We have a healthy relationship between the in-laws.

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